Ridgeways Times Four: January 2011

This is a long post. So, fair warning:)

Been learning a lot whilst we've been in England. And not just how to drive on the opposite side of the road (which I've become quite used to, actually). But deeper, more life-changing things, as well. In particular, I've been learning about being content in whatever situation you are currently in:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. (Phillippians 4:11-13 NIV)

As an example: I remember at some point during my growing-up years having a particular conversation with my dad (who is probably the wisest person I know) concerning contentment. I remember him making the comment that "different people have different needs." He said that some people (and I'd be willing to say, most people) have a need to be frequently social. "But I, on the other hand," he said as he continued to do yard work in the backyard (one of his favorite pastimes, I think), "am content just staying around the house getting work done. I could potentially not see anybody except for you and your mom and your brother for three or four days or more and be perfectly fine." If you personally know my dad, you are probably a little shocked. You know my dad loves to talk. To anyone. Anywhere. At any time, for any length of time.

Obviously, his words resonated with me. I think, at the time, my first thought was that's a little reclusive--well, I probably didn't think the word reclusive with my 15ish-year-old mind, but you get my drift. Now, I'm thinking about his words pretty much everyday. You see, when we moved over to England, we went down a car with intentions of buying another second car when we arrived. But, having decided to revamp our "get rid of all our debt as quickly as possible" plan we started last year (Go Dave Ramsey! I heart you!), we've decided that a second car is not in our near future. And because Jim won't suck it up and walk 7 miles in the dark cold to work and back and therefore insists on driving the car :), we three remaining Ridgeways are stuck at the house.

So, needless to say, there have been entire weeks that I've gone without seeing another living soul besides my precious family. My only clue that civilization still actually exists is evidenced by Jim's entertaining stories from work. And Facebook of course. And CNN.com, too. I guess you could call that civilization. :)

At first, I thought I'd die of social starvation. I'd go grocery shopping in the middle of the week as soon as Jim got home just to get out of the house. I positively despise grocery shopping. I'd keep reminding myself "Tori, this is what you wanted. To stay home and be a wife and mother. To not have to leave the boys with someone else."

I wondered why I was so miserable when I had everything I'd wanted. I finally started to genuinely pray about it and one evening I realized something. I hadn't read God's Word since Judah was born. That was months ago. I'd started in January of last year reading through a One Year Bible, marking and highlighting passages that impacted me, with intents of passing on my "marked up" Bible to Blaise once he got a little older. I intended to do the same for Judah and any other children we have in the future. But, if you look at my marked-up Bible, there is an abrupt stop of highlighting/marking beginning August 31st.

And I spent the next several months allowing Satan to steal my joy and contentment. Almost everything looked gray. Little things became big things. And I totally forgot about the fact the God had blessed me with what I'd wanted so desperately--to be at home with my boys. Second car or no second car. (I remember distinctly saying while I working right after Blaise was born "I would live in a closet, if that would mean I could stay with him.")

When I realized how long it had been since I'd read God's Word, I picked it up--coughing on the dust it stirred up--ashamedly flipped through to the current date. That's when I read Phillipians 4:11-13.

Granted the time after Judah's birth was exhausting (for more reasons than just having Judah), but during what should have been one of the most joyous times of my life, I was unable to take the time to praise and commune with the God who tried to give me that joy to begin with. Who inspired Phillipians 4:11-13. Who created me to be content. Who is the epitome of joy.

Thanks be to God that He doesn't give up when we turn up our spiritual nose at his gifts.

I will tell you that there are still a few days that I feel like I may possibly develop Trichotillomania (look that one up, why don't ya). But, I have learned to be content for the most part. God provides. We may not have the money right now to allocate to as many "fun" things that we really would like (you know, like a car), but we are making lasting memories each and everyday. I realize this when I'm reading to my sons, when I'm exploring my domestic side (which who knew it even existed??), when I'm kissing my husband after he comes home from work, when we're eating a family dinner, and when I'm saying bedtime prayers with my sons. I especially realize it when I hear my 2-year-old partially recite Jeremiah 29:11, one of the Bible verses we've been working on. "A pope and a puture." [a hope and future]:)

And it's not just material things that He provides. He created us to crave friendship, and He provides us with the socialization we need. But, He wants to make sure that we crave friendship with Him first. That we socialize with the God who created socialization first.

And it has been in coming to this realization that I can safely say I'm as content as I've ever been.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. (Matthew 6:19-20 NIV)

Oh, and get this: we didn't even have cable or satellite until last week when we happened to find a used one for sell for less than 1/2 the original price. I know. Shock, right? So, we watched lots of dvds. Lots of Thomas of the Train. Lots. And you know what's funny? I kind of miss not having satellite.

I do realize most of these pics need to be reoriented:) Sorry. Let me know if you need me to pay your chiropractic bill for getting a crick in your neck.

These are from when we took Blaise to Thomas Land during December. It's a theme park about 2 hours from here just on the other side of London. It was FREEZING cold, but oh, so much fun!