Finding My Niche

I've been trying for probably about 5 years now to find "my ministry." I'm kind of one of those people who is a 'little bit good at a lot of things, but not great at anything'. Know what I mean?

I can hold a tune, but am definitely not a soloist and am too hesitant to sing out in front of people so no one can ever hear me anyway.

I can draw/paint okay, but I don't do it often enough to keep up my skills. And I am such a perfectionist when it comes to stuff like that that I often end up not enjoying the task.

I enjoy working with kids, but I don't necessarily have the patience to work with other people's children all the time and have a joyful attitude about it.

I'm okay at hospitality, but don't have much confidence in my skills in that area.

I am NOT a leader. I've figured that much out for sure.

I've mostly determined that I work best 'behind the scenes' in support roles to those who are doing the leadership or are on the stage. Kind of doing what needs to be done out of the spotlight, I guess you could say. Tell me what needs to be done, and if I can in any capacity accomplish it, I'll take care of it. But, I've kind of felt lost doing that. Like I'm not doing enough for my Lord. Like I'm not using the talents He blessed me with. Like I'm not doing as much as others and therefore, am surely not doing God's will for me. But, everything has always seemed to hit a wall. Especially now, when the logistics of having two very young and very energetic boys to care for while simultaneously doing a ministry seem impossible to navigate.

But, today I kind of had a revelation. My e-devotional today from Proverbs 31 Ministries (http://networkedblogs.com/fPWL2) was about feeling blessed because God, through His mercy, has placed you where you are in life right now for a ministry.The author (Marybeth Whalen) wrote about not losing heart and having faith that God, in all His sovereignty, put you where you are during this season because He knew you and those around you needed you to be there. And so, when you feel overwhelmed, remember this is a God-ordained ministry.

This was where the revelation part came to me. I knew that God had put me in this place in this season of my life for multiple reasons. I've known that for a long time. But, here's the revelation:

I found 'my ministry'.

And it's right here. Sitting in front of me. My family is 'my ministry.'

My ministry may not be listed on my church's website and it may not be some volunteering position at the local homeless shelter. I may not be a missionary to some foreign country as I've often dreamed of being. But I am a missionary in my own home.

During this season, for at least while my children are little (or however long God's deemed), this is my ministry. To love and serve my husband unconditionally and to love, minister to, and teach my children.

I no longer feel ashamed because I'm not the person teaching Sunday School or childrens church, not the one singing on the praise team, holding Bible studies in my home, not able to be the faithful volunteer at the local youth club.

I no longer feel like I'm not using my talents to do some "job" that God has "out there" somewhere waiting on me to find it. 

You see:

I am one of the lead singers of the Ridgeway Family Praise Team. 

I am the ultimate artist of Magnadoodle and Etch-A-Sketch Thomas the Trains and Toodles. 

I am a childrens minister day-in and day-out. Can't say I always have a joyful attitude about it, but, when the day is done, it brings me a joy I couldn't find anywhere else.

I am learning and growing my skills in hospitality as opportunities arise.

I'm a helpmate to the leader of the Ridgeway household. I'm not the leader, because I wasn't born to be. And, for that matter, he isn't and shouldn't be the Ultimate Leader.


Someday, I may be at a place in my life where I can once again find a way to use my talents in the church. But in the meantime...

This is my ministry. And it is, by far, the most important one I'll ever have.

By God's mercy.