(Not So New) Years Resolutions

I broke my primary New Years Resolution last week. Here we are, not even a full three months into the new year, and I'm having to refocus already. What caused my fall from grace? The GAP. And my need for new blue jeans.
Jim's parents and brother came to visit last week, so we took them to London and, while there, visited Picadilly, where the "GAP" sign could very well have screamed read "Tori come here and spend $$$." My thought was "I have lost weight--my jeans are all baggy. I look frumpy all the time. I need to feel good about myself, so I need new jeans. I'll consider it a celebratory purchase and a 'looking-my-best-for-Jesus' purchase." And (hallelujah!) I had gone down a size in my jeans (I'm officially back in the 120 lbs as of yesterday--woohoo!).
But the funny thing was, I DID NOT feel better about myself after that purchase. In fact, I felt horrible, because I'd committed to not buying any clothes this year for myself or the boys. And I failed. Miserably. Like I always do whenever I make a commitment.
You know, I've read that psychologists have proven that people are much more likely to fail at maintaining their resolutions if they tell others about them. It's because the actual telling (or typing) somehow gives them a subconscious satisfaction that causes them to feel they already accomplished the resolution, when in fact, they haven't even begun. For that reason, I'd told nobody of my "no new clothes" resolution, not even Jim. But, I think there was another reason I didn't tell Jim about it. The other resolutions, including completely paying off my mountainous student debt from grad school in the next two years, are shared by Jim and me, so he knows about those. But, I think I didn't tell him about the clothing one because I KNEW I'd fail miserably at it. I guess you could call it a self-fulfilled prophecy.

So, anyway, after we got home, I admitted my failure and apologized to Jim. He was the one who created the budget and, for the most part, sticks to it a little easier than I do. Thankfully (but not surprisingly), he handled it with grace. In fact, he said, "well, you can always say that you bought those jeans in Picadilly London." I responded, "at an American-based company, but anyway..." :)

Sorry you wasted several minutes of your precious time reading my incoherent and almost worthless thoughts. The reason I blogged about this is that I am, from henceforth, going to rebel against the many psychologists who say it's unwise to publicly state your New Year's Resolutions. Hold me accountable, friends, by commenting/inquiring periodically either here or on Facebook like many of you do. Here are my 2011 Resolutions--some will be ongoing for a few years:

1.) DO NOT purchase any new clothes in the year 2011 (unless I lose so much weight that a belt will not suffice;).
2.) Read my Devotional Bible daily. (ongoing)
3.) Put my Lord first, then my husband, then my children. In that order, ALL the time. (ongoing)
4.) Respect and pray for my husband the way God intended me to. (ongoing)
5.) Reduce and recycle as much as possible (including cloth diapering, something I've been trying to do at least twice a day with each of the boys when we're at home alone--never would have thought I could handle being so up close and personal with poop before becoming a mom. But, I digress.).
6.) Reduce the grocery budget to $300. It's currently at $350.
7.) Pay off my remaining two graduate student loans (paid off one this past year!). (ongoing)
8.) Give selflessly to others around me and teach my children to do the same. (ongoing) 
9.) Get rid of all remaining clutter in my house.
10.) Not let paranoid fear of random works of evil paralyze me from feeling comfortable going on trips with the boys. Place my full trust in God's sovereignty. (ongoing)
11.) Exercise at least three times a week. (ongoing)
12.) Lose 5 more lbs.
13.) Not be disgusted with myself if I don't lose 5 more lbs (my husband loves me the way I am and tells me so frequently--and for that matter, so does my Lord). :) Thank you, Jesus.